Being gluten free is tough enough as it is at home, let alone in a strange country. But despite not having a huge crossed grain symbol on your back, you might be easier to spot than you think.
That’s why I’ve created 17 ways to spot a gluten free person on holiday, so the whole world can identify us with ease. After all, the sooner they spot us, the sooner they can get the gluten free menu ready…
1. Instead of packing useful holiday items like clothes, their suitcases are full of gluten free food.
You just never know when you’ll need a gluten free tiger loaf or a Bakewell tart…
What was the baggage allowance again?
2. On the plane, they will look incredibly unimpressed with their airline food.
A fruit salad and a yoghurt on a 24 hour flight? Is this some sort of fad cleansing diet?
And dessert is a single banana?
I didn’t have to pay for this food in the price of my ticket, did I?
3. They will have mastered the pronunciation of ‘gluten free’ in the native language.
Or they’ll have at least printed out a few translation cards.
Failing that, just shouting NO GLUTEN over and over again usually works for me.
4. And be so overwhelmed when somebody actually understands what they mean.
Merci por favor, du hast sehr gut Inglese.
It truly is a miracle that anybody understands me at all.
5. But no matter how good the hotel breakfast buffet looks, they’ll always be disappointed.
Wow, look at all these things I can’t eat. Also, why is there a croissant touching the only thing I actually want?
Fruit and yoghurt it is then. Again.
6. So instead of staying in hotels, many of them opt to stay in self-catered apartments.
Yep, even on holiday I’d rather cook for myself. It’s fun, I swear!
Because staying in apartment means that…
7. Even when on holiday, they will be more than happy to hunt for free from products in a supermarket.
Old habits die hard, I guess. And Spain’s supermarkets were even better than in the UK FYI!
The photo below was taken in Palma, Mallorca. And that was only a quarter of the whole aisle. It was like a dream.
8. Where they spend twice as long reading all the ingredients in a language they barely understand.
Okay, so that word means gluten – but I’m not sure about the rest.
From my expert deduction, this product either contains gluten, or it doesn’t.
I think my job here is done.
9. Instead of relaxing, they’ll spend most of their time worrying about where to eat.
Yeah ok, this beach is really nice, but where will I eat in 4 hours time?
10. Instead of having fun, they’ll spend most of their time worrying about where to eat.
So you’ve brought me to Disneyland, which is great. I love it.
But there’s nothing here I can eat. Literally nothing.
So now I cannot enjoy myself. Let’s go home.
11. Instead of… okay, you get the point – there will be lots of worrying about where to eat.
I thought I came on holiday to broaden my horizons, but it feels like I came just to play roulette with my health.
12. They can be often found reading the menus at 12 different restaurants before actually going into one.
I came to see the sights, but I seem to be doing a twice-daily tour of all the local restaurants.
“Wow, it only took me 2 hours to find somewhere to eat today. Let’s see if we can beat that record tomorrow!”
13. And if there’s nothing gluten free on the menu at all, the gluten free products from home will soon emerge.
Yep, I travelled half way across the world to eat food I bought 5 minutes from my house.
14. Instead of planning their day around seeing the sights, they plan it by where they can eat.
“How was the Eiffel tower?”
“No idea, I was too busy finding food I can actually eat.”
15. And the organised ones will usually possess a self-made map of every gluten free restaurant/cafe in the city.
Yep, that’s me. My Google maps is a directory of every gluten free place in existence.
“Turn left at the gluten free bakery, right at the gluten free grocery store – if you see the gluten free creperie then you’ve gone too far.”
16. They soon realise that the phrase ‘all inclusive’ isn’t much of a positive anymore.
Well, I guess if it means that everything is inclusive of gluten, then it’s pretty accurate.
Still not positive though.
17. And when they finally return from their trip of a life time, they will always tell you about the food first.
And second. And third. Basically, they were just grateful they didn’t starve.
Thanks for checking out 17 ways to spot a gluten free person on holiday! Did I miss anything out? How else do you think you give away the fact that you’re gluten free on holiday?
Thanks for reading,