It’s about time we celebrated my 20 Things That Happen In The Free From Aisle! I’ve lived most of my life in the Free From Aisle and I’m sure you’ve clocked up a few hours reading the back of every product on the shelves yourself. But have you ever stopped to notice some of the strange goings on there?
As we all know,the free from aisle is a place of immense joy and tragic pain. One day you’ll find a new product that you haven’t eaten in years and then next, you’ll wonder why it’s been discontinued. Either way, I think it’s about time we talked about the 20 Things That Happen In The Free From Aisle!
1. You find a brand new product that blows your mind.
“I finally found a loaf of bread that doesn’t have holes in it!”
2. A stranger’s relative will look visibly distressed whilst trying to shop for their free from family member.
“Why can’t they just eat like normal people?”
3. You’ll overhear someone say how healthy free from food is, whilst putting a chocolate cake in their basket.
“Yeah, it’s like free from carbs or something and makes you live longer.”
4. A a non-free from product will be incorrectly put back in the free from aisle.
Bonus points if you then remove it from the free from aisle yourself.
5. Once every 10 years, you find that your favourite free from product has been reduced.
And you’ll buy every single one of them yourself.
6. But the reality is, it’s probably reduced because it’s about to be discontinued.
RIP Udi’s Bagel Chips in my local Tesco.
7. Normal people will look at you strange as you massage each loaf of bread to check for holes.
I’d like to see you to try and make a sandwich from two slices of holey bread, mate.
8. Occasionally, you make eye contact with a fellow free from aisler.
9. But you will silently question someone who puts one free from product in a basket full of non-free from items.
10. The aisle itself will be located next to croissants and much tastier, better items.
11. And if you’re lucky, a gluten free blogger will hand you their business card.
Just take the damn card.
12. You feel obliged to take photos of new products to share with your fellow free fromers.
“The guys in the Hungry Coeliacs Facebook group are gonna love this! Oh no, Brenda’s beaten me to it.”
13. To enter the free from aisle, you must appear silently grateful to find that all the products are twice the price and half the size of regular items.
Oh I see, once you remove the allergens, there’s not much left to put in the box? That makes total sense.
14. You realise that not all free from products are native to the free from aisle and must search elsewhere for certain items.
Yes, the free from aisle is where we keep our free from products. Apart from when we don’t. So go find the rest yourself.
15. You realise that your local free from aisle is never as good as everyone else’s but you hide your jealousy well.
Well, if I lived on a diet of cakes and holey bread it’d ok I guess.
16. So you’re forced to travel to other supermarkets because your local free from aisle never has anything new.
They say that travel broadens your horizons, but I’m just trying to find the new gluten free frozen pizzas.
17. You’ll find free from products that never had any allergens in them anyway.
Wait, were we not supposed to be eating pasta sauce?
18. You realise you’ve forgotten your reading glasses and now cannot safely buy any products.
How much do you really trust your memory of ingredients labels anyway?
19. It may be a bit of a love hate relationship, but we couldn’t live without the free from aisle.
No really, I’d probably just starve.
20. The free from aisle is always there for us when we need it, so let’s just try and appreciate that shall we?
How many of the 20 Things That Happen In The Free From Aisle have you experienced before? How many do you relate to? Did I miss any off the list? Please leave a comment below letting me know! Or head over to Facebook/Twitter to chat more free from aisle chat!
Until next time folks… see you in the free from aisle!
Thanks for reading,