17 struggles of being the only gluten free person in your house
Being the only gluten free person in your household is tough. Apart from being outnumbered, there’s also gluten everywhere.
It’s pretty much impossible to live in an entirely gluten free household (if you do live in one, can I move in, please?) so you’d better get used to seeing gluten on a daily basis.
But it can get pretty lonely being the only gluten free person in your house. So here’s 17 struggles to hopefully make you feel less alone!
1. You have to cook/serve/be way too close to gluten.
Pass me my gloves and gas mask, please.
2. You have to buy an entire loaf of bread, just for yourself.
Or you can buy a smaller loaf for more money. That’ll teach you to not want to waste food!
3. Which means that it will inevitably go mouldy and/or stale before you even get to finish it.
I guess all my bread now belongs in the freezer.
4. You have to watch everyone eat all the gluten that you miss.
It’s ok, I don’t even miss French baguettes and jam donuts… much.
5. You often have to cook separate meals, just for yourself.
If there’s anything I love, it’s cooking dinner twice at the same time.
Maybe I’ll brush my teeth twice later, just for fun.
6. Unless you risk making everyone eat gluten free instead.
But guys… this food never had gluten in it to start with!
7. So instead, you have to make everything gluten free and then lie to everyone.
Just don’t tell them it’s gluten free until they’ve eaten at least half of it.
8. Keeping separate utensils is a nightmare.
How hard is it to not touch the outrageously colourful and distinctive knife?
9. And the same goes for chopping boards too.
You cut normal bread on my chopping board?
I don’t want it back, just burn it.
10. You’re constantly surrounded by gluten.
How do I escape? Help.
11. Which means that your fridge could be full and you can still go hungry.
I think my food is in there, but I can’t see it past all of the Cornish pasties.
12. Plus, you can’t even share the family takeaway.
These dishes are mine. Those dishes are yours. Do not cross this line or I will soon become your long-lost relative.
13. You can’t eat their food, but they will happily eat your food when it suits them.
But not your gluten free bread. Never your gluten free bread.
14. And you can’t even eat a slice of their birthday cake.
But you can still blow out their candles for them.
15. Sadly, no one cares when you find an awesome new gluten free product.
But… it’s a gluten free chocolate gateaux and it’s dairy free too!
No?
16. And nobody really understands what it’s like when it all goes wrong.
Sometimes, I’m not sure I do either, to be fair.
17. But when it comes down to it, nobody tries harder to understand than your own family!
Thanks for always trying to read the ingredients for me!
