5 changes I’m making for better mental wellbeing in 2018

I’ve been debating over the last few days whether to do a post reflecting on 2017 or to instead think about the future, 2018. Of course I could have done a post on both, but ain’t nobody got time for that!

So yeah I’m going for the latter, lets talk about 2018. When it comes to New Years Resolutions I think a lot of people get it very wrong. I find most people seem to be in one of two categories. 

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a) Some go all out and make unrealistic resolutions. These resolutions are so often about diet, weight, exercise. They are kept for a month or so and then fade away. For me these are pointless and put unnecessary stress and disappointment on ones shoulders.

b) Other people go the complete opposite way. It seems the ‘in thing’ to say these days is ‘I’m not making resolutions this year, I’m happy with myself just the way I am.’ Now this is a great place to be, but I believe however happy you might be, having goals and intentions for the year ahead is something we should all have. Surely making a few plans for the year ahead is a good way of enabling your happy life to continue or become even happier?

I’m not saying you should make plans that put unnecessary pressure on yourself. Just have a few achievable goals that you set. Forward planning is healthy, setting overly ambitious resolutions which you’re unlikely to achieve is not. There is a difference. Don’t feel like you need to abandon planning and forward thinking, life’s too short!

Anyway onto my goals for 2018. I really want to just focus on my mental wellbeing in 2018. I sometimes think the term ‘mental wellbeing’ is a bit of a buzz phrase. But really all I mean is I want to focus on being happier in myself. I want to focus on myself and what’s best for me.

1) Switch off from tech

This is something I am terrible at and I know I need to improve. My phone is like my baby. I can’t even imagine how many times I unlock my phone every day and check my social media accounts. It really is silly when i think about it. It makes me miss the life we had pre-smart phone. Mark and I might be watching telly, I’m still on my phone. I’ve literally just woken up, oh, I’m on my phone again!

I really think I need to give myself that switch off time. Time to properly relax. Social media can certainly wait and to be honest, it’s not all that interesting anyway!

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2) Stop comparing myself

I am one of the worst for this. In 2018 I really need to finally realise (after years of comparing myself to others) that it only ever makes me feel worse about myself. I feel like, at school and college, there is so much comparison, especially between girls… and I’m still doing it! I’m 27 this month!

I never seem to compare myself to anyone that I’m better than (that I guess would seem harsh towards others). Instead I compare myself to those who I believe are doing things better than me. It makes me feel unhappy, it makes me feel bad, it makes me jealous. Why the hell do I do it?! Yes you can learn from others, but for goodness sake I’m not ‘that person’ so I shouldn’t compare myself to them!!!

3) Don’t overthink EVERYTHING!

Welcome to my life. The life of overthinking about bloomin’ everything! Now thinking about something in advance isn’t a bad thing – I know that. Planning is good. However, thinking just that little bit more than you need to creates stress… well, it does with me anyway!

If I didn’t overthink everything I really feel like I would be so much more productive. I worry too much when I’m doing a piece of work whether it’s good enough. I overthink about what people might think of me. I overthink about going out for a meal; I’ve already looked at the menu ahead of time but somehow I still end up worrying and then end up not really wanting to go. Overthinking never helps, it just stresses the hell out of you. So Becky, listen here… stop overthinking please.

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4) Put ME first

Now this is something that I have been working on in 2017 and I think I’m doing pretty well at it. I’ve learnt that by putting myself first and thus making myself happier, I can then make other people happier too. I have more time for others and I’m just in a better position to help others. 

A good example from 2017 for me (I know I said this wasn’t going to be a looking back post BUT well… I want to now) is my change of career. I started 2017 with a very solid and well paid full time job that I started in early 2016. Initially I was very happy in the job and also my family were very proud of me and always said so. They liked the security of the job, the fact I had a pension, maternity pay (for one day!) and it was a great location too. But it didn’t take me long to realise that the job wasn’t for me and that I really wanted to do my blog full time. For so long I didn’t quit all because I was worried about what other people would think. I mean I didn’t tell anyone except Mark that I’d quit my job for months because I was so scared that they would be disappointed.

However, when I did eventually pick up the courage to tell my family, they were totally fine with it. They’re now happier and prouder than ever of me for doing what I really want to do and working really hard.

I want to make sure that in 2018 I always remember this and realise that putting myself first isn’t being selfish, it’s just the best thing to do for everyone.

5) Stop being a stress head!

I needn’t explain this, really. Basically if I try to do all of the above… my stress will decrease somewhat ๐Ÿ™‚

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I’m really happy with my 2018 goals. I guess I wouldn’t call them 2018 goals I’d prefer to call them life goals as they are just a few things that I’d like to work on to make me a happier person. There is no tick box for goals like this, no pass or fail, I think that’s important. They are just ongoing and gradual.

Please feel free to drop a comment below or on Facebook / Twitter / Instagram letting me know your changes in 2018. Do you need advice on setting achieveable goals for yourself? Just let me know, you know I love to chatter with you guys!

Have a lovely new year & speak soon,

Thanks for reading,

Becky xxx

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